


Take a Bullet For You

by juuvio



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Probably more angst, References to Depression, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-16 22:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juuvio/pseuds/juuvio
Summary: “Ugh, quit it!” A sharp voice startled Tsukishima back to earth. He frantically darted his eyes around the area and turned in every direction, but failed to find the source of the voice. “Up here, four-eyes.” Right, the one direction he didn’t think to look was up, because why the hell would someone by perched up on top of a lamp post? This damn guy.“Quit what?” He challenged, forgetting to question why he was even up there, and also completely overlooking the fact that this guy has wings- wings? What? “Wait -”Kuroo Tetsurou; an empath angel with the ability to endure a human’s pain for them.Tsukishima Kei; a human drowning in pain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Has anyone ever just literally fell in total love with a piece of fan art? Well, here I am with another fic inspired by a beautiful piece of fan art (yet again).
> 
> [Here's the link to it](https://www.instagram.com/p/BX6OggflzCx/?taken-by=sapchiu)
> 
> Kuroo just looks so damn divine and angelic and oh my god my inner fan girl went out of control upon laying my eyes on such beauty! So, after staring at that picture for a damn good while, I was hit with an idea and wrote this at like 4am because I refused to sleep until I got it out of my system.
> 
> Anyway, I hope this is enjoyable! I'll try to update regularly but since I've got two fics up now it may be a bit slow.

It is said if an angel dared to shed a tear, they would blind themselves. Of course, the majority of angels are particularly strong willed and wouldn’t even get as close as the brink of a slight eye water, but there are the odd few who let their delicate eyes pour like a monsoon. A blind angel was a downed angel, it was viewed just as bad as them losing their wings. It was like holding up a banner to show how _weak_ that angel was. Thankfully, it was an extremely rare occurrence.

 

Angels walk among humans, quite obviously so. Though they’re easy to spot out, they are rare to come across just randomly. The majority of Japan had never even caught a glimpse of an angel. Angels retract their wings under their skin when they’re out and about with humans but the dead give away was their _violent_ eyes. They bared the eyes that ranged from every shade of red in the color spectrum, but they were always a red color. It made them look scary, evil even, and not exactly the pure beings they were said to be. In fact, they weren’t entirely pure. Although they were there to ultimately help humans, they still did their fair share of _disposing_. If they believed a human to have wronged far too many times, out they go. In the most brutal way possible. Hunted down relentlessly and ripped apart by their clawed wings and their souls damned to the deepest parts of hell. It may sound perfect for keeping the world clean and civilised, but angels didn’t always follow the rules. Some abused their superiority, looked down on humans and even played with them like they were mere mice. Not to say they were all like that, but it was a warning that angels aren’t always what they seem. It made a few question if the existence of demons was within the angels themselves. However, the same went for humans. Some were greedy and disgusting, craving the power of angels and abused them until they broke, taking advantage of that generous trust they had placed in that human. For an angel to give their name to a human, is to sign themselves to a contract to be there for them and guide them to a brighter future until they have fulfilled their duty, but the humans need to keep their end of the deal to and can very easily misuse the trust and power of an angel.

 

Different angels had different abilities, may it be the ability to grant luck itself, or bless one with good fortune. Kuroo Tetsurou, an angel, was an empath angel. He feels the emotions of those close by, but that wasn’t the ability itself. His ability is to absorb _negativity_ . To take away pain, both physical and mental upon physical contact. It sounded great, for whoever was on the receiving end. While the pain may be taken away, it in turn resided in Kuroo, feeling every ounce of the darkness. Kuroo questioned daily why he had to be cursed with such an ability, not feeling entirely generous to any human to be willing to sacrifice his own good moods for them. He’s had his fair share of abuse in the past, by greedy humans that want nothing more than to be falsely happy, even at the cost of someone else’s happiness. _Pathetic_ , vile creatures. Kuroo didn’t exactly hate humans, but he didn’t like them enough to share his ability with any recently. He often got scolded for not doing his job, but he didn’t care. His wings may be moulting like no tomorrow but it was no big deal, he didn’t want to bare any more pain that would dare put him close to _crying_.

* * *

 

Tsukishima Kei, quiet, reserved, salty and sarcastic as can be when he does speak, and _fed up_. Anyone who believed they knew Tsukishima in the slightest, assumed he was an apathetic asshole. True, he came off that way. Yet he was only keeping up an emotion wall to keep his from spilling out into a bloody mess. He was used to it though, he had perfected keeping his emotions silently in check, and only gave them a breather when he was completely alone. Alone was what he was the majority of the time. His closest friend, Yamaguchi, was studying in a different university far away from his own. Tsukishima wasn’t too fond of coming to Tokyo in the first place, yet educational wise it was his best bet.

 

So there he was, waking up, going to class, getting back to his dorm, sleep, repeat. Sounded fun. Maybe there were people who attempted to reach out to him, but Tsukishima was too blind to see past his wall. He didn’t need anyone else, he was only there for university, not to make friends.

 

“ _Have you been eating well, Tsukki?_ ” Yamaguchi asked over their video call, squinting to see the bright screen in his dark room.

 

“Been eating normal as always.”

 

“ _Three meals a day! Or more, you’re super skinny._ ”

 

“Or perhaps I eat what I can.”

 

“ _Have you seen that new movie coming out?_ ”

 

Tsukishima held back a groan, it pained him to see how their conversations had fallen to something as trivial as this. Basically a hi how are you, bye, conversation. The distance between them was clearly taking it’s toll, and Tsukishima wondered is Yamaguchi had made new friends. Better friends. Friends that actually showed they cared about him.

 

“ _Tsukki?_ ”

 

“Sorry, what?”

 

“ _Oh I was just telling you what that movie’s about, we should go watch it!_ ”

 

“We’re hours apart.”

 

“ _So? I’ll get the train over, no biggie!_ ”

 

Was he not bored of always making the effort? Was not not fed up of having these one sided conversations? _Was he not done with me?_ “Look, Ya -”

 

“ _Uhh, someone’s calling me. I gotta go! Cya!_ ”

 

Silence.

 

Tsukishima stared at the screen long enough for his eyes to start seeing spots and stars and he pulled his gaze away, landing on the fridge. He sat up from the sofa and took long strides towards it, opening the fridge to reveal… nothing. Gone off left overs at most. He debated whether to just starve tonight or go outside. The former sounded more appealing, but the bugging growling and twisting of his stomach was pushing him towards the latter. “Why, why, why…” He adjusted his glasses and stood back up, throwing a coat on and slipping his feet into his shoes before making his way out the door. “I really can’t be bothered.”

 

**.**

 

The night was quiet, the occasional drunken laughter from the straying pair who clearly lost their way. The area Tsukishima was in there were no clubs or bars, only 24 hour convenience stores. His people watching habit kicked in as he glanced over to the two women laughing horrendously and falling all over the place, looking like a complete state. “Stupid.” He muttered to himself, half wanting to laugh at how pathetic they looked. He really didn’t see the appeal in getting that stupidly drunk, for the reason people tend to act completely and utterly moronic. People are too shy and embarrassed to act like that normally, so why did people intentionally make themselves act like that? He couldn’t get his head around it.

 

Tsukishima grabbed what he needed and left the convenience store, no laughter to raid the quiet night. _Much better_. He watched his own breath cloud before him, and felt the onset of chattering teeth. Although he prefered cooler seasons to summer, he didn’t like being cold. Quite picky. The peace on the inside wasn’t so present however, and Tsukishima found himself rummaging through at least a million different thoughts. Was Yamaguchi replacing him? Was he being too blunt with Yamaguchi? Were his assignments badly written? What if he fails university? How will he pay for it? No, he’s smart he won’t fail. But what if the lack of motivation catches up to his work and starts handing things in late? He’ll fail, he’ll be in debt he’ll -

 

“Ugh, quit it!” A sharp voice startled Tsukishima back to earth. He frantically darted his eyes around the area and turned in every direction, but failed to find the source of the voice. “Up here, four-eyes.” Right, the one direction he didn’t think to look was up, because why the hell would someone by perched up on top of a lamp post? This damn guy.

 

“Quit _what_?” He challenged, forgetting to question why he was even up there, and also completely overlooking the fact that this guy had wings- wings? What? “Wait -”

 

“All that negativity and shit, I could feel it from a mile away!”

 

“What? How -”

 

“An empath angel, you could say. I feel what you feel.” The angel shook his wings out a bit, and at first glance they were beautiful, fascinating and enchanting. Yet, upon closer inspection, Tsukishima noticed how worn and beaten they looked. They were patchy, untidy, skinny from the fallen feathers although there were still a fair amount left. They were larger than the angel himself, who had a rather peculiar hair style. Dark, messy, unruly, pointing out in every direction, and a section fell onto the face Tsukishima still couldn’t make out. “Never seen an angel?”

 

“Well… No. It’s not exactly common.” He was tempted to ask him to come down, but in all honesty he was a bit on edge. The protruding singular claws from each of the wing’s wrists looked quite deadly at the very least. “Why are you still up there?”

 

“I kinda don’t wanna be right next to a total downer like you.” He snickered. Tsukishima had already released a lengthy sigh and turned away. “Wait where you going?”

 

“Since I’m too miserable for you -”

 

“Damn okay, I’m coming down alright?”

 

“Nope, I’ve already lost interest.” He lied, how could he lose interest in an angel? In reality, he wanted him to follow.

 

“Oh I highly doubt that, I can feel a bit of excitement going on deep down…”

 

“Get out of my head!”

 

“Technically it’s not intentional.”

 

The blonde spun back around and had every known insult on the tip of his tongue, this guy was so annoying! Yet, he didn’t say a thing. He simply stood there with a finger pointed at him with all the words caught in his mouth upon finally seeing the angel’s face. Silky fair looking skin with a royal golden glow underneath, sharp jaw and cheekbones, pinkish purple tinged bags under those gorgeous crimson eyes that felt like they were staring right into his soul. Tsukishima felt… attracted. Was it an angel thing to just look so majestic? “Annoying. Stop.”

 

“You’re so mean!” The bed head pouted, his ivory wings lowering in a sulk too.

 

He let his eyes study this angel, the main thing popping to mind how the wings were going through his coat. “Do you have wing holes in your coat or something?”

 

“Really? Out of every question you as- Yes I do. Made them myself, save me from destroying more expensive clothing.”

 

“So you can like… Tuck your wings in?”

 

“Shed all the feathers so it’s just the bone and retract them into my back. It hurts like hell.”

 

“Why would you ever do that then?”

 

“To blend in more? I guess. It heals though. Just hope no one stares at my eyes then I’m all good. I don’t like the attention.”

 

Surprising, Tsukishima would have guessed he was a whore for attention by the way his hair was styled. “How old are you?”

 

“Someone’s curious, 264. If I were human… I’d be around 20 something?”

 

This was fascinating, mind blowing actually. Tsukishima was talking to a real life angel, and he was excited about it. He hadn’t felt even remotely interested in anything lately, so this felt pretty much like an orgasm or something. “Last question… What’s your name?”

 

“If I tell you my name I’m stuck with you until you don’t require my help anymore.”

 

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows, rather intrigued yet shocked at that little rule. “By not needing your help, like could I just say I don’t need your help?”

 

“I wish it was that simple.” He laughed. “We get like… I dunno, a feeling, when you don’t need us anymore. So in your case, when I’m certain you’re happy again without my aid.”

 

“I’m already happy.”

 

“Uh-huh… Totally.”

 

“I’m guessing you won’t tell me your name then.”

 

The angel cocked and eyebrow up, standing silently for a moment. “Well, it’s kinda my job. Here’s a deal, tell me yours first.”

 

“What could you do with mine?”

 

“Use it to address you by.”

 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes so hard he thought he’d lose them. He didn’t really fancy having this rooster haired, _annoying_ angel stalk him around until he was presumably _happy_ , yet something inside pleaded him to take this chance. Maybe the angel _could_ make him happy. “Tsukishima Kei.”

 

A sly smirk crossed the angel’s face and he took a deep breath. “Kuroo Tetsurou.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima adjusts to his new company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I updated faster than usual, perks of having loads of free time!

When the wave of utmost disaster and misery almost knocked Kuroo off his lamp post, he felt like killing whatever miserable human that decided to pass on it’s sad and mopey feelings to him, but all malice and hate drained from him when his blood stained gaze landed on the _stunning_ blond. Half of it may have been physical attraction, but the other half was his inner angel yearning to _save_ him. Kuroo hadn’t contracted himself to humans in years, after past experiences. The nature of his ability allowed those selfish people to simply grab him to make themselves feel better, not giving a single care about Kuroo. Kuroo being their contracted angel, he was forbidden to hurt or reject them. Apparently when they want to touch him all the time for that rush of comfort and tranquility, that classed as them seeking help. Bullshit, he thought. They knew it hurt him, and they knew him being there was to only encourage and guide them to happiness, not create a fake happiness for them. Yet, humans always favoured shortcuts.  

 

This blond however, his emotions were dark, twisted and self destructive. Just Kuroo’s type of mess he was created to deal with, yet avoided at all costs. He was scared in all honesty. He was scared of being used, he was scared he would be stood over like a battered mat again, he was scared of committing himself for someone else’s benefit. He grew selfish, he couldn’t deny that. And that’s why his wings were paying for his attitude. He got a feeling however, that he could trust this human. But why? He’s just a ~~pretty~~ stranger he knows nothing about apart from being a walking lump of anguish. Why would he risk it now? Honestly, he had no damn clue. And that was why Kuroo’s having the time of his life exploring Tsukishima’s dorm apartment and made himself right at home.

 

“Do you literally have to follow me _everywhere_?” Tsukishima hissed, adjusting his glasses out of habit.

 

“Actually, yeah! If you’re more than 20 feet away from me for more than an hour it won’t be pretty.” Kuroo sat upside down on the sofa, his now fallen back hair revealing his whole face.

 

“You’re joking.” He asked, and got a head shake from Kuroo. “What’ll happen?”

 

“You don’t wanna know, or find out. So please don’t ditch me.”

 

“I have classes you know.”

 

“Then before it hits the one hour mark say you gotta piss and come running back to me!”

 

“I’m starting to doubt anything would actually happen and you’re just being a pain.”

 

“Aw Kei, I like you, but not that much.”

 

“We’re not on first name basis yet.”

 

“ _Yet_.” Kuroo smirked, flipping himself the right way up and shook out his wings. They were extremely hazardous with their large size. And the fact they had damn claws. _So_ angelic. “Tsukishiblabla is such a mouthful though!”

 

“Deal with it. So you still haven’t told me how this whole thing works.”

 

Kuroo cleared his throat and sat up straight. “Well I guess right now is the warming up stage. I’m gonna get to know you, then I’ll have an idea of how to help you.” Kuroo could have already mentioned he could literally make Tsukishima feel better right that instant by touching him, but the fear and selfishness still lingered. He decided on attempting to draw out some happiness without the use of his ability first.

 

“I don’t even need help though.”

 

“You’re miserable.”

 

“Have you seen your wings?” Tsukishima snickered.

 

Kuroo had to stop a frown from falling on his features. “Ha-ha, hilarious.”

 

“Why are they like that?”

 

“They’re not even that bad!” Kuroo whined. “Probably ‘cause I don’t do my job.”

 

“You don’t like helping people?”

 

“Back at it with the 100 questions. No I don’t to be honest.”

 

Tsukishima was tempted to say that Kuroo had just failed at his main reason for existing, but that was a bit harsh even for Tsukishima. “Then why are you bothering to help me?”

 

“I’m always this kind.”

 

“Seriously.” Tsukishima was beginning to get a headache from how many times he had to roll his eyes, the regret already settling in that even believing for a split second having an angel around was a good idea. He took a quick glance towards the clock and sighed. “Well, I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me or I’ll pluck all your feathers out.”

 

“Mean.”

 

“Do angels sleep?”

 

 _Another_ question. Well, Kuroo couldn’t entirely blame the guy. “Yeah, but I’ll stay here.” Kuroo motioned to the sofa he was sprawled across, clearly already comfortable.

 

“And stop moving your… uh _wings,_ around. They’re really loud.”

 

**.**

 

When Tsukishima awakened again, he began to believe all the occurences last night were simply a dream. Because like hell Tsukishima was lucky enough to run into an angel. Apparently he was, but lucky wasn’t the right word as he walked into the lounge to see a bundle of feathers on the sofa. Kuroo wrapped himself in his large wings like a blanket, or even like a cocoon, with only the tip of his wild hair sticking out of the top. It was fascinating to watch actually, the way the wings twitched and shivered softly occasionally, very much like how a person would do while asleep. He didn’t notice himself step closer, reaching a hand towards the divine creature. He was mere inches away from the wings, but withdrew his hand in a fright when they jolted suddenly. A wing lowered slightly and revealed Kuroo’s squinted eyes, the bags more prominent and deep. He was pulling a rather perplexed expression. “Morning.” Tsukishima finally managed, focussing on keeping his face straight.

 

A barely audible groan left Kuroo and his raised his wing to cover his face again. He clearly wasn’t a morning person. “Why’re you up so early?” He croaked.

 

“It’s not early, it’s half 8.” Tsukishima replied, turning away and towards the kitchen. “I’ve got class in half an hour.”

 

That seemed to wake Kuroo up. “Class? You won’t be gone long right?”

 

Tsukishima was really curious as to what would happen if he didn’t come back within the required time. Nothing that terrible, right? “I’ll come back after the half an hour break. It does reset or something dumb right if I come back then leave again?”

 

“Resets if you stick with me for an hour.”

 

“The specification really supports my doubts. My break is 20 minutes.”

 

Kuroo sank deeper in the sofa with the look of horror, Tsukishima couldn’t understand why he was so worried. “What floor you on then?”

 

“54D… 4th floor. Why?”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it all covered!” Tsukishima frowned at Kuroo’s sudden found confidence. He stood from the sofa and stretched himself out, including his wings. They had to be at least 6 feet long, and with great size came great _mess_. He probably knocked over every stood up item from shelves and tables. “Oops. Sorry.”

 

The blond let out an exasperated sigh. “Just clean up when I’m gone.” The toast finally popped from the toaster and Tsukishima hastily spread the jam, glancing at the time. “I have to go, don’t wreck my place or anything. Or anymore than you already have.”

 

“Gimme your number.”

 

“Angels can use phones?”

 

“I’m an angel not an alien. Residing on earth means keeping up to date with technology.” Kuroo let a rather innocent smile spread across his face. Now Tsukishima didn’t really know him that well, but he knew enough to not to fooled by that fake innocence. _God help me._

* * *

 Bokuto just couldn’t, stop, talking. Did he not gather after the first 100 times Tsukishima blanked him that his company wasn’t exactly wanted? Not at all. His friend, Akaashi was more tolerable, but Tsukishima prefered next to no socialization. Making friends meant being expected to leave the dorm, acting accordingly with social norms and sacrificing sleep time. The lecturer's voice was drowned out behind Bokuto’s, which was drowned out behind behind Tsukishima’s _silent wall_ as he called it. It was basically where all the sounds that weren’t from his own mind were reduced to an inaudible level of volume.

 

The buzzing of Tsukishima’s phone was terribly distracting enough for him to not be able to ignore it any longer. Why in hell did he give Kuroo his number?

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:18 AM**

 

_Can I call you Tsukki if not Kei?_

_Take that as a ye_

_Tssuuuukkkkiii im boreeeed and lonely_

_Pay attention to me pls_

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:26 AM**

 

_No you cannot. Stop it._

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:28 AM**

 

_But freckles calls you that_

_Id say I should be up on his level at least, I mean I am your guardian angel ;)_

_Are you nearly on break yet_

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:31 AM**

 

_Yamaguchi? How the hell do you know about him? And about what he calls me?_

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:32 AM**

 

_You on break yet_

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:33 AM**

 

_Answer._

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:34 AM**

 

_Was playing on your laptop :3 You talk to him a lot. Besties?_

 

So this angel was annoying, nosy, invasive and a total ass hole. What could be worse.

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:35 AM**

 

_Stop. Going. Through. My. Stuff._

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:37 AM**

 

_Nice boxeeerrrss…._

_Dinosaur lover?_

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:37 AM**

 

_Kuroo!_

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:39 AM**

 

_You’re not much of a threat over this tiny device… looks like you're gonna have to come tell me off in person_

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:37 AM**

 

_I can’t! By the time I get back to the dorm break would be over._

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:39 AM**

 

_Heheeeewrwerdgd, suit yourself <3 _

 

Tsukishima began to subconsciously clutch his face, growling into his hand with irritation. He thought Bokuto was annoying, but Kuroo was an absolute _nightmare_. So far he was doing the opposite of making him happy.

 

After lingering around nowhere in particular, time called for him to make his way back to class. Screw sticking with the one hour rule, Kuroo can handle a bit of separation. And seeing as he wouldn’t tell Tsukishima what would happen only further convinced him absolutely nothing would happen. “Stupid _angel_.”    

 

**< < < From: Annoying Angel**

**Mon. 9:47 AM**

 

_Ewwww all that anger… did I piss you off :)_

 

Tsukishima settled on ignoring that text, until he realised something odd. Couldn’t Kuroo only feel his emotions if he was close by? As though his eyes were being controlled from an outside source, he ended up shifting them towards the window next to him. _Surprise_. Stupid grinning face, wings out on full display, stupid hair, stupid, stupid, stupid everything.

 

“ _Kuroo!_ ” Tsukishima hissed at the window, hastily glancing around to check that no one just heard him, being in a relatively quiet class. Thankfully, everyone’s heads were down and focussing on writing notes. It wasn’t the fact that people would see Kuroo that was the main problem, everyone knew angels were around somewhere anyway. It was the fact he would be associated with an angel, meaning everyone would find out he’s… _Broken_ ? _Pathetic for requiring the help of an angel? Entirely dependant on someone else?_

 

Kuroo simply looked as indifferent as can be, sat on the outside ledge in the comfort of being at the back of the building, so hopefully he wouldn’t get too much attention. But why did he actually have to come and freaking watch Tsukishima in class? Did he have that much of a serious case of separation anxiety? Tsukishima grabbed his phone and practically punched the letters with his lanky fingers.   

 

**To: Annoying Angel > > >**

**Mon. 9:50 AM**

 

_What are you doing????? Get lost!!!_

 

Tsukishima was caught off guard by a sudden sharp gasp ripping through Bokuto’s throat beside him, flicking his eyes over to witness the widest Bokuto’s eyes had ever gone. _Oh great._ He hurried to slap his cold hand on his face before he started screaming or something, Akaashi noticing the commotion looked over and shock even masked his usually composed features.

 

“Ignore him, he only wants attention.” Tsukishima whispered. “Don’t draw attention to us, got it?” He moved his eyes between both Bokuto and Akaashi, awaiting for them to both nod before he released his grip.

 

“Nooo way, you have an angel?!” Bokuto whisper shouted, the initial shock replaced by pure excitement. “Oh my god I’ve never seen one before -”

 

“Be quiet!” Tsukishima stopped himself from throwing his hand back onto Bokuto's mouth, which would have turned into a violent back hand if he didn’t stop it. He reluctantly turned his head back towards Kuroo who was steaming up the window with his breath and writing something with his finger. _Oh god please stop._

 

 _‘Miss u’_ was what he wrote, and Tsukishima had to reason with himself about why smashing the window wouldn't be a good idea against why it would be a perfect idea. All he could do for now was flip up his middle finger at the window, eyes not meeting with the grinning angel.

* * *

 

“Why, why, why?!” Kuroo watched Tsukishima pace around the room restlessly, fingers weaved in and clutching at his golden hair. “Now that owl idiot is literally annoying the hell out of me just to see you again!”

 

“I’ll go see him then, I like his hair.” Kuroo responded nonchalantly as he was throwing an apple into the air and catching it.

 

“Ugh! When are you actually gonna start doing your job?! All you’re doing right now is being a pain in the ass!”

 

“Patience is virtue! Damn you humans always so rushy and pushy. There isn’t a shortcut to happiness ~” Kuroo caught the apple a final time and turned to face Tsukishima, his expression falling serious. “Look, first step is pay attention to your friends.”

 

“What _friends_.” He hissed.

 

“That beef cake and the pretty one. I saw them trying to pry you out your shell but you _blank_ them. Come on dude, not cool.”

 

“They aren’t friends -”

 

“Really? It’s a shame, they’re really trying with you.” Kuroo began to walk closer and Tsukishima felt his heart in his throat, feeling the intimidation seep off the divine being. Was he actually annoyed? “Go out with them tomorrow. I’ll even come with if you want.”

 

“You’re too annoying, no.”

 

“Okay I’ll hang around out the window -”

 

“Never mind! Just… Come. Don’t make yourself any more obvious than you did today.”

 

“Wait… You’re agreeing to go out with them? One point to me!”

 

“If it’ll make you go away any faster.”

 

“I’m flattered you love my company that much.”

 

Tsukishima began to wonder how much air he’s wasted sighing. “What are you gonna do about your wings?”

 

“Retract them.”

 

“Didn’t you say that hurt?”

 

“Aw you care?” The loud click of Tsukishima’s tongue answered his question. “Yeah, but I’ll handle it. But tonight I need them or I’ll be cold.”

 

“You could just ask for a blanket or something.”

 

“Wings are better! And softer…” Kuroo’s keen eyes caught Tsukishima's flash of curiosity. He wanted to let him touch his wings, but in turn he’ll just get all of Tsukishima’s negativity. _Like I’m suppose to be doing… Quit being selfish._ He took a deep breath and went for it, “You wanna… feel?”

 

“Huh? Your wings?”

 

“No, my dick.”

 

“Tsk, shut up… Can I? Your wings. I mean.” _Obviously_.

 

Kuroo outstretched a wing towards Tsukishima, who hovered a hand over it. The tremble could be seen from a mile away and he honestly looked like he was going to back out last minute, but he finally settled his shaking hand. It was soft, really soft. But that wasn’t the main part, Tsukishima felt… _Free_ . As though an entire weight had been lifted off his shoulders, as though he had no worries left in the world, in fact he could say he felt close to _happy_. The feeling was almost overwhelming, And Tsukishima associated it with the wings so he didn’t let go.

 

“Um… Why is it…” _Feeling amazing?_ He felt that good he couldn’t even get the words out. He felt like planting his whole face in the heavenly feathers, he felt like wrapping himself up like Kuroo did when he sleeps and soaking up all this euphoria. Until, he saw Kuroo’s face. He looked the furthest away from happy, he looked pained, hurt, miserable. He withdrew his hand away in a hurry and saw Kuroo’s face relax a little. “What’s wrong?”

 

“You didn’t have to let go.” Kuroo forced out a halfhearted chuckle, but even Tsukishima could sense its insincerity.  

 

“Did I grab on too tight or something? Sorry…”

 

“No, no, nothing like that. Was just thinking about something.” He lied. Maybe it would have been better to tell Tsukishima the truth. No, then he would know a quick fix to happiness, then he would use Kuroo like everyone else did. _Great, now I’m the bundle of misery._ “Wow though, I’ve never imagined you to apologise.”

 

“I’m not a total dick.” Tsukishima spat, turning away from Kuroo. “Your wings feel… _Really_ nice.”

 

“Thanks, I know.”

* * *

 Watching Kuroo retract his wings was almost as agonizing as it must have felt to Kuroo. Tsukishima was honestly surprised he didn’t cry or something. The way they were shed down to the bone and folded up, cracking themselves into a smaller form and ripping through the skin on his back. It was disgusting, gory, horrifying. The amount of blood made Tsukishima feel lightheaded and he had to excuse himself from the excruciatingly slow process. “Are you almost done?” He called from the bathroom, steadying himself on the sink. A sickening crack made the blond flinch.

 

“Uh-huh…Come quick you gotta see the cool part!”

 

“Nothing about that is cool. It’s gross.”

 

“Just come!” Tsukishima groaned and peeked his head out the bathroom, catching a truly enthralling sight. Where his skin had ripped and parted, it was closing up rapidly and leaving only a scar on top of many more scars where he had retracted and released his wings repeatedly. Minus the scars, there was only a slight bump along the upper spine that protruded more than the rest of his spine and a raised line running under his shoulder blades.

 

“It scars?”

 

“When I was younger it didn’t, but because I’ve done it so many times it’s kinda given up on the total healing.” Kuroo threw on a t-shirt and a grey loose fitted sweater, frequently reaching to itch his back. “Did I mention how fucking irritating it is to have them retracted?”

 

“I could imagine…” Tsukishima hummed, walking closer to Kuroo. “Well, I told Akaashi we’ll be ready at 2 but it’s now… nearly 3.”

 

“Better hurry then, your new besties are waiting ~”

 

**.**

 

Bokuto and Kuroo clicked scarily fast, joking around and acting like children like they were the best of friends, yet Bokuto and Akaashi still didn’t know Kuroo’s full name, he went by ‘Tetsu’. Angels are forbidden to expose their name to another human while already contracted, and it had apparent consequences that as usual, Kuroo wouldn’t mention what exactly. Being Tsukishima’s guardian angel and all, one would expect an angel to be obliged to explain at least some of the rules.

 

“Bro! I just realised… Where are your wings?!” Bokuto peeked past Kuroo’s shoulder as though he expected them to just be massively reduced in size.

 

“In my back! It’s super itchy I really just want to get them out.”

 

Tsukishima regretted every, damn, second. He hates being outside, he hates socialising, he basically hates everything. Yet at the same time he built up a liking towards Akaashi at least. He was calm, collected, chill and completely understanding. If he sensed Tsukishima wasn’t up for talking much he would happily stay quiet until Tsukishima was ready to talk. Maybe it was helping a little bit, but Tsukishima couldn’t deny he sort of craved the feeling he got when he touched Kuroo’s wing. Would it be weird if he asked to touch it again? _Yeah, definitely._

 

Days passed and Tsukishima made more and more effort to speak to both Bokuto and Akaashi, within class and even beyond. They were certainly growing on him, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Eventually he found himself willing make his way towards the owlish pair without Kuroo pushing him to do so. He could say he was motivated for the sole fact of getting rid of Kuroo, but he was even beginning to get attached to the bed head.

 

 _“Mission one complete…”_ Kuroo breathed as he sat back on a roof, watching the firefly finally emit his own light.

* * *

 

The slowing train rattled noisily on it’s tracks before it finally came to a stop. Tsukishima was far lost in a daydream to even realise his freckled friend had already appeared before him, grinning widely and almost went for a hug, before remembering Tsukishima wasn’t exactly a hugger. He was saying something, but Tsukishima couldn’t hear him, all he could focus his mind on was Kuroo. Where was he now? He couldn’t be far, due to that whole one hour bullshit. He was sure good at hiding, even with that mess of obsidian hair. “Tsukki?”

 

“Yamaguchi, sorry. Was just thinking…”

 

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

 

 _Shit, I did it again._ “No, no I’m really happy. It’s just been a while I’m sort of just… Taking it in. I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too, come on let me see your place! I hope you’re still keeping it tidy.”

 

_How mother like._

 

**.**

 

Upon arriving at his dorm, Kuroo was nowhere to be seen. He had to be around somewhere, if his one hour rule was an actual thing. Unless Tsukishima already classed as happy and he left. A pang of fear sparked in his chest, he didn’t want Kuroo to go. He was just starting to warm up to him, and he was still miles off being so called _happy_. What if he was fed up? Has he given up? Was Tsukishima too much work? It’s fine, it’s fine. Maybe he’s just giving him an Yamaguchi some space.

 

Yamaguchi threw Tsukishima frequent concerned looks, attempting to avoid asking him what’s wrong but the rising agitation and restlessness was becoming harder to ignore. “Are you okay?”

 

“What?” Tsukishima answered quickly. “Yeah. I’m fine.” _He’ll come back._

 

And so, they went to go watch whatever movie Yamaguchi was raving about. It wasn’t particularly bad, but Tsukishima couldn’t hold his interest in it. Movies just weren’t his thing. He did make an effort to catch the main points of the movie so when Yamaguchi rambled about it later on he could at least respond. It felt nice, having Yamaguchi with him again. It almost felt like old times, and he still treated Tsukishima like a god. But the scratching thought at the back of his mind pestered and tortured him. The way Yamaguchi would excitedly text back to his _other_ friends. Was Tsukishima’s company not good enough? Of course he wasn’t who was he kidding. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t show any love, he could feel it, but showing was another story. He couldn’t get anything past that stone cold face of his, even with the warmest eyes in the spectrum he still some how managed to make them look icy. Tsukishima knew he was a horrible friend, a horrible person in general, a complete ass hole. He was even that mean to Kuroo that he decided to leave him too. Eventually Akaashi and Bokuto would realise how utterly pointless it was to try with him, and leave just like the rest. Tsukishima could see it, he could already feel it, but he just couldn’t motivate himself to do anything about it.

 

Yamaguchi getting back on that train set off a trigger, and Tsukishima had to get home, fast. His breathing became disorderly and painfully heavy, his heart began to pound 10 meters out of his chest, his skin drenched his clothes with chilled sweat. He couldn’t understand why he did this, did this to others, did this to himself. Perhaps everyone would be much better off without him sucking out the life of the world like the miserable lump he was.

 

“Tsukki, hey. Look at me.” A husky voice spoke. Tsukishima forgot where he even was. His dorm room, and that angel was crouched in front of him. Wait, he was on the floor? He didn’t remember falling over or anything. Where was his glasses? He found it hard to see, and raised a hand to his face. _Oh._ He was wearing them. “Follow my breathing, yeah?”

 

“I-I can’t.” His breath got stuck on his words, rattling and shaking. Kuroo drew his brows together and took a deep breath, reaching his hands towards Tsukishima’s.

 

“Take my hands, apparently physical contact helps…”

 

“Yo- you left me. Where did you g-go? Why -” Another choke as he struggled for air, shifting his wavering amber eyes down to Kuroo’s hands. They were a hair away from his own, but he was waiting for Tsukishima to reach out. He looked back up to Kuroo’s face, focussing on his now softened features. He often look sly, scheming, borderline evil, but now he just looked gentle and soothing. He threw all his trust into Kuroo and took his hands, clutching onto them like he was afraid they were going to disappear.

 

There it was, that feeling of darkness itself being drained away down a sinkhole. It was gradual and steady, and what was being left behind was the little light Tsukishima clinged to. But even that small amount felt like entire beam being shon directly onto him. There was nothing overshadowing that light now, nothing to block it out. Kuroo said he was an empath angel, meaning he’s all to do with emotions. Was this his doing? Tsukishima opened his eyes again which he hadn’t even realised he even shut, and met with Kuroo’s rosy eyes. How _beautiful_. Tsukishima loved the color red, and even more so now he’s seen it’s full beauty potential unlocked within an angel’s gaze. He was almost too lost in them to realise how Kuroo’s hands began trembling, and his nose was slightly scrunched at the bridge. Was he in pain? “How… are you doing that?”

 

“Doing what?” Kuroo rasped, his voice also falling down in the dumps.

 

“You’re taking it away. Aren’t you?”

 

“Something like that.” Kuroo forced a smile onto his face.

 

Tsukishima thought back to Kuroo’s reaction that last time he touched his wing and started to feel lifted like he had his own wings. That same sullen expression. The way Tsukishima must usually look. That could only mean… “Wait.” Tsukishima tore his hands away like he touched a hot plate. “You’re absorbing my messed up emotions? Like, feeling it?”

 

Kuroo raised his now free hands up to his hair, diverting his eyes away from Tsukishima. “Yeah.”

 

“Stupid! Why are you doing that to yourself?”

 

“Because I’m suppose to be helping _you_ , remember? I’d say it’s not so bad but then I’d be undermining your feelings.” He snorted.

 

Was an angel’s existence purely dedicated to humans? _Tragic_. “Why… You didn’t tell me. You let me cling onto your wing like no tomorrow and didn’t even say it was hurting.”

 

“As your guardian angel and all… I’d take a bullet for you Tsukki.” Kuroo’s eyes creased at the corners with his pure smile, fighting through the gloom he just took.

  
To have someone care like this was _confusing_ at the very least. Maybe it was just because it was Kuroo’s job and yarda yarda, but in Tsukishima’s brief few moments of freedom and tranquillity, he’d like to believe Kuroo cared for him from his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: 'Blond' is apparently masculine and 'blonde' is feminine. I honestly never knew that (and watch me be the _only_ person who didn't know that *sigh*). Learn something new every day!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ice begins to melt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this took a while to update. I'm so sorry!

“Kuroo, can I ask you something?”

 

Kuroo hummed from his spot on the sofa, huddled up into almost a ball with his knees tucked up to his chest and wings wrapped protectively around himself. Tsukishima thought it was cute, way in the back of his mind hidden under the denial. “Not like me saying no will stop you.”

 

“I’m curious… You feel whatever emotions I feel right? But you also… _feel_ when you absorb. What’s the difference?”

 

“Well the feeling I get from what you’re feeling in general is like uh… Smelling something, so it comes and goes. If I took the negative shit away I’m basically eating it. Kinda.”

 

As though Tsukishima didn’t feel like a burden on people already, discovering Kuroo’s little ability _really_ made him feel guilty. “So like does it replace everything with happiness?”

 

“No I just take the pain, so then you’re left with only pure positivity which even the most miserable people have somewhere deep down. But obviously it’s not permanent, kinda like using a cloth or something to clean dirt. You wash it, and it’s all pretty and like new but then you dip it in shit again.”

 

“You’re basically saying I dip my brain in shit.”

 

“That’s what it feels like!” Kuroo laughed, receiving a deadly glare off the blond. “Not to be rude or anything, but I’m not gonna do that all the time. That’s just cheating, and it won’t last. You gotta find your own happiness.”

 

Tsukishima nodded, lowering his gaze. “I don’t want to hurt you anyway.”

 

“Oh?” Kuroo felt his eyebrows fly up, that being honestly the first time a contracted human said something like that to him. “I’ll still do it if necessary, obviously. Like times like those.”

“No, I don’t want you to.”

 

“Trust me, if there’s less anxiety attacks or super black holes in your mood it’ll leave more room for you to build yourself up.”

 

“So wait, does it happen on touch then? Can you control that?”

 

“No control over it. So don’t sit near me, ew.”

 

 _What a dark power to have, not even being able to touch without enduring some one else’s pain._ “I don’t want to be anywhere near you anyway.” Tsukishima shot back, covering up the guilt he felt for Kuroo. It wasn’t like he wanted to touch Kuroo or anything, like holding his hand. _Eugh, definitely not._ With the weekend finally peeking round the corner, this was suppose to be Tsukishima’s few days of loneliness and peace with himself, but Kuroo being there made everything so much more difficult. What was he suppose to do with this extra baggage? The fact even if he told him to get lost he’d be back within an hour.

 

“Y’know that constant state of annoyance you seem to be in… is really annoying me.” Kuroo appeared right beside Tsukishima’s face, glaring him down like he was his prey. His warm breath on Tsukishima’s cheek ironically gave him goosebumps.

 

“Ever thought about that maybe you’re just horribly irritating?” Kuroo felt his heart almost stop when Tsukishima flicked his _fierce_ eyes towards him. “And you’re too close, go away. Don’t want to sap up anymore _shit_ now do you?”

 

A lazy smile crossed Kuroo’s cat like features. “What’s this, are you _nervous?_ ” His under eyes creased and puffed out a bit more as he did so, making him look somewhat innocent.

 

“Oh my god, stop that. I feel violated.”

 

He stood back up from his crouch and stretched out, throwing an arm back to scratch his back. “Tsukki come on, let’s do something! You’re literally so boring.”

 

“Thanks, I don’t often spend my time trying to entertain a stupid angel.” The distant sound of a groan made Tsukishima silently chuckle to himself. He looked over to see Kuroo raiding his fridge, or in fact his entire kitchen. “Can you not wreck my kitchen?”

 

“But there’s no food.” Kuroo whined, pushing himself up on the counter to sit on it. “Wanna bake something?”

 

“I don’t cook.”

 

“Not even cakes and shit?”

 

 _Cakes do sound nice._ “...No.”

 

“No, wait. I felt that. Was that… Craving?”

 

“For the last time Kuroo-”

 

“Damn I can’t help it okay!” Kuroo raised his hands up defensively, his stupid grin still stretched across his face. “So, what kinda cake do you like?”

 

Tsukishima could spend all day arguing with Kuroo about not wanting to bake cakes and all, but it was such a waste of his breath. Besides, if he was to just comply with Kuroo all this would be over soon anyway. “Strawberry shortcake…” He mumbled, half hoping Kuroo wouldn’t hear him or notice the blush heating up his pale face.

 

“Sweet just unlike you!” He snickered, pushing himself off the counter. “Get some shoes on, we’re going shopping.”

* * *

 The sound of dragging feet and chattering teeth was driving Kuroo up the wall, but he focussed most of his attention on his phone, scanning down the list of ingredients. He didn’t even bother questioning why Tsukishima put in three extra boxes of strawberries in the cart, but whatever makes the guy happy. What Kuroo wasn’t expecting however, was to run into Bokuto and Akaashi. “Well, well… Your favourite people are here Tsukki.” Kuroo nudged Tsukishima gently who raised his gaze from the shopping cart, and he surprisingly didn’t pull his usual disgusted expression.

 

“Tetsu! And glasses?! Damn how’d you manage to get him outside?” Bokuto was loud as usual, putting a smile to Kuroo’s face.

 

“He’s probably in love with me or something.” Kuroo chimed, shooting a very unimpressed Tsukishima a wink. “We’re making strawberry shortcake… Go plead Tsukki if he’s willing to share.” He lowered his voice into Bokuto’s ear, who perked up at the word cake and wasted no more time in going to harass Tsukishima. Kuroo shifted his eyes towards Akaashi, who gave him a soft smile.

 

“Nice to see you eager to help people again, Tetsurou.”

 

Kuroo glanced back at Bokuto and Tsukishima, who were a fair distance away now. “You haven’t told him? The guy thinks he’s never seen an angel before me.”

 

“I’ll probably tell him, when the time is right.” Right there, Kuroo felt a sting of sorrow and a little of _something else._ It made sense why he hasn’t told him, because he was in painfully love with the human. Relationships don’t work out so easily between humans and angels.

 

Kuroo drew himself closer to Akaashi, squinting into his icy blue eyes, knowing very well they were contact lenses to mask the brilliant red. “They look so real…”

 

“I know, worth the price then right?”

 

“Definitely. So question… You contracted with him?”

 

“No, there isn’t a need to be.”

 

“Doesn’t he ever ask for your full name?”

 

“I give a fake name, it’s working well so far.”

 

“You and your double life huh… Exciting!”

* * *

 

Kuroo wasn’t one to brag, but he had to show off a little when he was proven to be an expert in following instructions. Well, anyone with half a brain could follow instructions but Tsukishima really didn’t expect the cake to turn out next to perfect. The forgotten glimmer of his eyes were returned upon watching Kuroo gesture embarrassingly towards his _masterpiece._

 

“See, without your help I still did it.”

 

“I _did_ help.”

 

“By eating all the strawberries?”

 

There was the familiar eyeroll, and a frustrated huff. “So annoying…”

 

“So, Tsukki… Did I make you at least a tiny bit happier?”

 

Come to think of it, Tsukishima was feeling elevated to some extent, and he was nowhere in touching range with Kuroo. “It would have been easier to just go and buy a cake…”

 

“You didn’t answer my question. Come on, progress report!”

 

 _“Yes.”_ He hissed promptly, turning away to prevent Kuroo from noticing the warmth to his face.

 

“Nice… Well you didn’t have to tell me to be honest. I could feel it.” Kuroo admitted. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

 

Tsukishima had an insult at the tip of his tongue, but instead he felt his lips stretch into a small smile and the word long lost into an abyss. “Oh.”

 

“Really? Not gonna tell me to fuck off or to get out of your head?”

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

“Nope, no.” Kuroo hurriedly assured, raising a hand to rub his eyebrow. “Am I winning you over?”

 

“Nope, now you can fuck off.”

 

“Worth a shot.”

 

Kuroo’s crimson eyes widened at the sudden giggle, half expecting it to be laced with sarcasm or mockery, but it was strangely genuine and soft. Had he heard Tsukishima laugh before? Kuroo couldn’t remember, and he was pretty certain he didn’t even say something remotely amusing. Yet, he couldn’t complain. It was a nice sound.

 

**.**

 

Watching the usually salty human eat slices of that cake all day contently warmed Kuroo’s heart, although felt a tinge of concern for Tsukishima’s diet. Well, at least he was eating _something. Baby steps, remember._

 

“Don’t you eat?”

 

Kuroo raised his gaze from the empty space before him and towards Tsukishima. “Huh? Course not. Human food doesn’t sit too well with me.”

 

“Really? Weren’t you looking for food earlier and that was the whole reason for making this cake…”

 

“Oh I just like smelling food, don’t like eating it. But I could if I wanted to.”

 

Bewildered was an understatement, Tsukishima looked beyond lost. Was Kuroo’s explanation that bad? “So… what’s your main source of food?”

 

 _Of course, a question._ “Souls of damned humans.” Kuroo mentally questioned himself if he should have been so open about it, but Tsukishima looked unfazed.

 

“Right. And I eat fried angel wings.”

 

“Nice one.” The angel snickered. “No I’m serious.”

 

Finally, that inexpressive face morphed into something along the lines of horrified. _“What?”_

 

“Well, they’re damned anyway. Demons don’t have souls, if you haven’t noticed in about every demon story.”

 

“They don’t have souls… because angels eat them. What the fuck.”

 

“A soul is too precious for something as cursed and heinous as a demon. By eating them we like… Purify it.” Kuroo’s features softened as he let his mind wander through his thoughts. “Demons owning a soul is just complete chaos and destruction for us and humans. That’s why they crave to take souls.”   

 

“Do angels have souls?”

 

The question startled Kuroo, although he didn’t entirely know why. “Course we do, but we lose it if we harm a human who is not deemed to be damned.”

 

“Understandable…” Tsukishima played with the remaining crumbs of the cake on his now empty plate. “What happens if you lose your soul?”

 

“You can guess, we turn into demons.”

 

The knit between Tsukishima’s brow grew tighter. He had so many questions, but Kuroo was looking like he was on the verge falling asleep from boredom. “Is that the only way you become a demon?”

 

“Nah, there’s loads of ways. That’s just the most known way.” Kuroo reached his arms up and stretched himself out, drawing in a long yawn.

 

 _Just one more question._ “I’ve heard stories… About crying angels.” The flinch was too sharp to miss, and Tsukishima almost regretted mentioning it. But being the curious being he was, he pressed on. “What actually happens?”

 

“Well for starters don’t stand near a crying angel, you’ll go deaf!” Kuroo chuckled, however a dark film glossed over his eyes. “No seriously. You will. The sound is fucking horrific. Like a shrill ringing, piercing enough to shatter glass. It’s no ordinary wail, I’ll tell you that. But other than the effects on the environment, the tears will blind them.”

 

Tsukishima was loss for words, he had heard the horrors of crying angels but always assumed they were meaningless stories. The amount of hoaxes about angels going around wasn’t even surprising, but in turn stories were now harder to believe. “Have you seen… An angel cry?”

 

“A few times, like maybe only 3 times? Most recent one from 30 years ago and they were two cities away.” Disturbance fell upon the blond’s pale face, expecting Kuroo to break out in his stupid grin and yell about it being a joke, but the seriousness remained firmly on the angel’s features. “They also lost their soul.”

 

“What?”

 

“For an angel to cry, they gotta be right down in their own hell with no way out. We don’t just cry like that, it’s crazy. If our minds get too dark we get damned. Zipped. The end.”

 

The gaping desolation in the depths of Tsukishima’s chest was unbearably hollow, feeling as though someone had just punched a damn hole right through him then and there. He couldn’t understand why he was so bothered, was he worried for Kuroo or something? The angel had lived over 200 years, he was obviously safe if he already lasted that long, right? Unless he keeps taking his pain, and then Tsukishima may as well be damning Kuroo to become a demon with his own hands-

 

“Fucking hell, calm down! Didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Kuroo’s laugh rang through the small room and dragged Tsukishima out of his swirling thoughts. “Don’t worry, you can’t make me cry.” He shot a wink and slouched himself on the sofa.

 

“I’m not…” _Worried. Yes I am._ “Kuroo, you literally eat pain. How does that not put you at risk of feeling like… You know. Like that guy who cried.”

 

“Aw, your little faith in an angel’s strength is insulting.” He smirked, sitting back up to lean forwards towards Tsukishima. “It’ll take a lot more than someone else’s pain to make me cry, I appreciate the concern but don’t worry.” Kuroo’s voice was soothing and reassuring, but it did little to put Tsukishima at ease.

 

“Whatever, not like I care.”

 

“Cute, a tsundere.”

 

Tsukishima snorted at the remark, and stood from his seat to throw his fork at Kuroo, who in turn defended himself with his wings. The fork hit the wooden flooring with a flat clang, the noise distracting the bedhead from noticed a pillow fly in his direction. His late reaction led to his claw getting caught on the thin material, tearing it into a shower of feathers. “Shit.”

 

“Shit.” Kuroo echoed after Tsukishima, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips at he fought an oncoming laugh.

 

They shared at stare down for a short few seconds before they dived down to clutch onto the stray feathers to hurl at each other. “I hope some of these are yours.”

 

“That’s nice, I hope you wake up with some up your ass.”

 

“You’re so gross.”

 

“Come on, like hair. You know how girls always go on about pulling hairs out their ass in the shower? That’s literally me, with feathers.”

 

The laugh left Tsukishima’s throat before he processed fully what Kuroo even said. “What the hell! I don’t need to know that!” He panted between his cackles, the laughter shaking his lanky figure.

 

“Damn, you laugh at my life struggles but can’t even crack a smile at my _actual_ jokes.” Kuroo pouted, his shoulders trembling from an inside giggle. It felt good to make the stone cold Tsukishima laugh like that, he felt like he was actually succeeding at something for once.

 

“Oh, your best joke is your hair.”

 

“Fucking ass hole.”

 

“Your mouth sure isn’t angelic and pure.”

* * *

 

Tsukishima’s mind was on fire, burning strong like the pits of hell itself. Why did he agree to this? He hates drinking, he hates going out, he hates people. So what does he do? Agrees to go out clubbing. What kind of god forsaken mistake had he made, and why was his supposedly _guardian angel_ encouraging this? Aren’t angel’s suppose to sway humans away from poisoning their bodies?

 

“I _love_ drinking! Hope you can handle your drink Tsukki, because I’m not carrying you home.”

 

Apparently not. Kuroo was probably the furthest away from an angel, had the higher up being guy up in the clouds made an error in one of his creations? That was at least the most convincing theory. How the hell was this guy an angel? There he stood, a cigarette between his ~~gorgeous~~ lips and a glass filled to the rim with the liver killing poison in one hand. _Angelic? Please._ “Why are you still classed as an angel? And for the 100th time you can’t smoke in here, I’ll get in trouble.”

 

“Because I’m a divine being crafted in the heavens itself with a duty to fulfill for my lovely human… You, my dear. What I do to my own body doesn’t affect the judgement I get from above.” That smirk sent burning chills through Tsukishima’s body. Kuroo looked undeniably good tonight. In fact, he always looked good being an angel and all, but tonight he looked beautifully put together. His usual lazy attire was replaced by a form fitting knit jumper that brought out his slender build, and leg hugging black jeans that was torn at the knees. Those legs were irresistible, long and sylphlike. All black truly made him glow, that golden undertone gleaming through the surface of his flawless skin. _The hell, what am I even thinking about?_ Tsukishima shook his head out to rid himself of these thoughts, letting the denial drag any sense of attraction towards the angel into the deepest end of the dark sea that dwelled in his head. _Must be an angel thing to attract humans, I don’t actually feel anything. Not at all._ “Wow Tsukki, have I caught your heart?”

 

His amber eyes remained wide while his pale complexion warmed several shades deep into the rose spectrum, lips parting in disbelief. He _did not_ just advertise to Kuroo unintentionally that he was somewhat attracted to him. What emotion even is that? “Kuroo. Stop -”

 

“Unintentional! I won’t say anymore.” He bit his bottom lip to stop a wide spreading grin from overtaking his features, turning away to mask the struggle. “For what it’s worth, you’re looking nice Tsukki.”

 

“S-shut up.” He stammered, glancing quickly at the mirror. Tsukishima hated how he looked, but Kuroo’s wandering eyes thought otherwise. His burning gaze trailed down his thin form, his neglected outfit found at the back of Tsukishima’s closet embracing his model like figure. The grey skinnies clinging to those legs for days and a black cable sweater layered above of a button up dress shirt done up to the neck. The blond shuffled uncomfortably under Kuroo’s crimson orbs, his nervous habit of adjusting his glasses frequently kicking in. “Can you stop looking already?”

 

“I can’t, my eyes are too blessed! So glad I found that outfit.” Kuroo beamed, patting Tsukishima on the shoulder who flinched away like a spooked animal. “Shit, sorry -”

 

“I thought you said you couldn’t touch?!”

 

“Skin on skin contact kinda touch! Geez don’t do that, thought I broke your shoulder or something, seeing how frail you look and all.”

 

“Fuck, mention that next time. Nearly gave me a heart attack.” Tsukishima raised a hand to wipe away the beading cold sweat growing on his temples.

 

“My heart is tingling a little… My Tsukki was scared to hurt me!”

 

“I’m not _your_ Tsukki, and stop calling me that already.”

 

“Kei it is then.”

 

“Tsukishima.”

 

“Tsukishiblabla.”

 

“Oh fuck you.” Tsukishima groaned and took a few long strides towards the door. “Are you done admiring yourself? Bokuto and Akaashi are waiting downstairs.”

 

“Actually, I was busy admiring _you_ and no I’m not done.”

 

“Ugh, come on.”

 

Kuroo took a swift gulp of the remaining of his warm hued drink and pulled a face before walking over to Tsukishima by the door. He expected Kuroo to make another annoying flirty comment but instead his eyes fell soft and sincere, his lower lids puffing as he smiled. A breathtaking, _angelic_ smile. That smile that took away the unnerving bloody color in his eyes, and turned it into something pure and innocent. Tsukishima felt his ears ring from the lack of oxygen, realizing he was holding his breath for who knows how long. He wished they could stay like that all night, staring at Kuroo’s true self so peacefully like this. Tsukishima felt the warmth in his chest crawl through on its own, fighting desperately against the ice that caged it up.

 

_What’s this feeling?_

 

**.**

 

Alcohol was a funny thing, Tsukishima thought. He was certain he gets about zero attention from people at university, sexual attention that was, but now suddenly these women were _adoring_ him. Running their frail hands down his chest, along his jawline, brushing against his face. He _hated_ it. Maybe there was something wrong with him, why wasn’t he appreciating the excessive touching and attention from these relatively good looking women? And why was he desperate for his _angel_ to look at him more with those blood eyes instead? _Kuroo? No way, he’s definitely put a spell over me or some bullshit._ He bit down on his tongue to distract himself from the thoughts, but they still managed to be involuntarily pulled back towards the dark haired beauty. His skin gleamed under the fluorescent lights, his eyes echoing back the unnatural colors emitted from the ceiling. He truly looked like an otherworldly creature, despite blending in more in this environment. No one seemed to noticed his rather obvious eyes, most likely assumed to be a trick of the lighting.

 

Kuroo himself was having his fair share of struggling with attention, of course he would. He was _gorgeous._ Although he seemed like the kind of guy to love that kind of attention, he was visibly fearing their wandering hands venturing dangerously close to his bare skin. It wasn’t long before the weary angel approached the blond with a grin plastered across his face. “You’re looking like a ball of sunshine, as per usual.” He leaned in close to Tsukishima’s face to speak over the blaring music, the latter feeling his nerves rattle at how their skin almost touched.

 

“I want to go home.”

 

“My god, you sound like a whiny kid.” Kuroo sighed and looked Tsukishima over before an idea lit his face up again. “Wanna know something cool?”

 

“No.”

 

“Around a quarter of the people in here are angels.”

 

Tsukishima’s mind slowed the world down and dulled out the borderline deafening music, feeling his eyes shift over to the dancefloor. Glimpses of red shon back at him from various pairs of eyes, the overhead lights enhancing their surreality. It was told it was unbelievably rare to come across an angel, yet humans were surrounded by them on a day to day basis. All they had to do was believe there weren’t any angels around, and that became their reality. “What the fuck… How -”

 

“We’re not that rare, but we’re good at blending in.” Kuroo smiled slightly, but just enough for Tsukishima to catch a glimpse of pearls behind those soft, pink lips. “Guess you just need to know where to look.”

 

“Tell me about it…” Tsukishima mumbled too quiet for anyone to hear over the music, noticing Kuroo lock his hand around his sleeved wrist and pull him over to the outside smoking area where he then pulled out a cigarette. “So angels can get drunk?”

 

“Drunk, high, whatever. Our bodies aren’t so different from humans. We just can’t get sick. Or like human kind of sick at least.”

 

“So no cancer?”

 

“Nope! Cigs aren’t something to fear for us.”

 

“Can’t get addicted either?” Tsukishima mulled over in his head that he sees Kuroo smoking a lot, wondering if he just liked it or he was actually dependant.

 

“Addiction is another story, we still get that unfortunately.” It was hard to see past Kuroo’s smile usually, but Tsukishima learnt to look at his eyes. That’s where he holds his emotions, and right now he could tell he was somewhere along the lines of sorrowful.

 

He cleared his throat and looked down at his full cup he had been holding for over half an hour. Alcohol was revolting. “Want to drink this? I don’t like it.”

 

Kuroo chuckled and took the cup, downing the whole thing in one throw back of his head. “I got a better idea. Shots.”

 

“No. That’s worse.”

 

“Quicker though! Just one quick chug. And you’ll get drunk faster.”

 

“I don’t want to get drunk -”

 

“Of course you do!” A familiar booming voice interrupted the pair, Bokuto. “Why are you still sober?”

 

“Not everyone is a fan of drinking, Bokuto.” Akaashi mentioned, looking calm as ever yet his tone held warning signals towards Bokuto.

 

“He hasn’t even tried it properly!” Kuroo whined, hooking an arm around the back of Tsukishima’s neck. “He’s a lost puppy… Bo, we gotta guide him.”

 

Bokuto was second to join Kuroo in invading Tsukishima’s personal space, throwing his arm over him as well. “Poor soul, doesn’t know what he’s missing…”

 

“Shots?”

 

“Lots, bro.”

 

“Guys, I didn’t agree to this.” Tsukishima attempted to reason his way out of this, but was hushed by the two _devils_ either side of him.

 

Akaashi stood before them, rolling his icy eyes at the troublesome pair. “Tetsu, please don’t encourage Bokuto’s bad behaviour. You’re suppose to be better than that.”

 

“Bad behaviour?” Bokuto repeated, his jaw falling open. “Hey, hey, hey I haven’t got bad beha -”

 

“Shhh, ignore pretty. Let’s do our dirty work and finish the mission.” Kuroo smirked, shooting Akaashi an almost malice look with the flick of his eyes.

 

 _Angel. For sure._ Tsukishima groaned inwardly, his feeble strength no match to the two men dragging him effortlessly towards the bar and watched in horror at them order the shots. “What’s the big deal about getting drunk.” He questioned, half to Bokuto and Kuroo and half to whoever else happened to be listening.

 

“Because it makes you not caaare.” Kuroo expressed with a dreamy sigh, holding his hands over his chest. “You forget your problems, isn’t that the dream?”

 

“A rather temporary fix if you ask me.” Akaashi sighed, seating himself down next to Bokuto on a stall.

 

“A fix is a fix.” Kuroo mumbled.

 

“Don’t get that attitude again, Tetsu.” The sudden firmness in the back of Akaashi’s voice threw Tsukishima off guard. He flicked his eyes between Akaashi’s stern glare and Kuroo avoiding any eye contact whatsoever. _What does he mean? He’s never met Kuroo before has he?_ Before he could begin questioning, the bartender arrived with a tray of about 20 shots.

 

“What the fuck.”

 

“Five each, leggo!” Bokuto exclaimed, gathering his fair share and held a few towards Akaashi, who shook his head.

 

“I have my drink, I don’t like shots.”

 

“Fuck, six each then. Tsukki can have the left over because you’re gonna have a taste of heaven.”

 

“Why does Akaashi get to say no and I don’t?” Tsukishima questioned, shifting his eyes over to Akaashi who shrugged.

 

“Because, four-eyes… ‘Kaashi has been drunk before!”

 

“This is no way to introduce someone new to drinking.”

 

Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose at Bokuto and Akaashi bickering, and came to notice Kuroo’s unusual silence. When was the guy ever silent? If he was asleep or straight up dead. “Um, Kuroo?”

 

Kuroo snapped his head towards Tsukishima, his eyes finally drawing back into focus from whatever world they were lost in moments ago. “Get your shots Tsukki, there’s no getting out of this!”

 

He let his eyes fall to the tiny glasses before him, filled unevenly with amber liquid and small puddles of liquor surrounding the area on the counter. He took one glass in one hand and held up close to his lips, mentally cursing at this situation. _This is going to be the worst night ever._

 

**.**

 

Tsukishima was beyond the point of simple drunkenness, he was closer to dead if anything. He was certain he had lost his glasses, judging by his atrocious sight, but a familiar voice reassured they were still on his face. The blond slouched over the counter, fighting the roll in his eyes to look at the stupidly attractive man comforting him, his voice was smooth and velvety, his hair was totally an after sex look, his face was crafted by the angels themselves. Funny, he was sure he was an angel… _Oh right, he is._

 

Kuroo couldn't stop the chuckle from ripping through his throat, listening to the salty firefly shower him in love and compliments and actually being _nice._ Tsukishima and nice don’t go in the same sentence together, it was plain unheard of. “Tsukki, are you feeling okay? Not gonna spew everywhere right?” To be honest, Kuroo couldn’t see straight himself, or even stand himself up without the support of the counter.

 

“No-oo. I feel perfect… I can’t see. Have you got my glasses?”

 

“You got them on, silly.”

 

He slapped a floppy hand maybe too hard on his face, almost losing his glasses for real that time. A slow, drawled out giggle left him and Kuroo couldn’t contain himself anymore. Drunk Tsukishima was hilarious and he was in no way letting him live this down. “Kurooo… Why you laughin’ at me?”

 

“You’re cute.”

 

“Oh, no you are.” He rested the side of his face on his hand, staring up in awe at Kuroo. He was beautiful, and nothing can tell Tsukishima otherwise. The owl haired man stumbled into the scene not too long later and planted his forehead on Kuroo’s shoulder.

 

“Oh man, I’m fucked.”

 

“Same… Him too.” Kuroo laughed, shifting his gaze down at Bokuto. “Where’s pretty?”

 

“Eh… Toilet. Hey y’know he’s like adorably clingy. Like in a good way! He literally never leaves me for long.”

 

“Oho? Doesn’t seem like the type.” Kuroo smirked, watching the silver strands fall out of place from Bokuto’s dramatic nodding.

 

“Right?! I’m so happy he likes bein’ around me bro… It feels so nice.”

 

“I’m sure he loves it too, clearly.”

 

“Wai’ what. Sound’s like Tetsu with his one hour bullshit thingy.” Tsukishima slurred, raising his head back up from the dead.

 

“What one hour thingy?” Bokuto questioned.

 

“Who knows, he’s spouting nonsense now!”  

 

“Haha! Drunk Tsukki is so funny, you’re such a mess dude!”

 

“Shut up...”

 

Akaashi finally came back into sight and Bokuto stumbled away from the pair, Kuroo leaning down towards Tsukishima’s ear. “Between you and me, Akaashi is also an angel. But not contracted to Bo, guess he just likes being around him.”

 

His slipping eyelids shot open again and he almost fell off the stool. “No he isn’t?!”

 

“What did he tell you his name was?”

 

“Akaashi Kenji...”

 

Kuroo found himself chuckling at the name Kenji. _How creative._ “Nah, one of those names isn’t real.”  

 

“Fuck off… really?!”

 

“Like I said, just gotta know where to look!”

 

“But, but his eyes aren’t red?”

 

“He wear contacts, look super close.”

 

It was as though Kuroo had told the poor guy that dinosaurs had come back to life, the uttermost bewilderment fixating on his features. “Woah…”

 

“Yeah, but keep it shush from Bo.”

 

He nodded slightly without question, for once, before turning to look back up at Kuroo. “Hey, do you... like guys or girls?”

 

Kuroo almost choked on his drink from the question, more over the fact it was a question from Tsukishima and completely out of the blue. “Well I mean, I love them all. Best of both worlds huh. What about you?”

 

“I like you.”

 

The words were heard by Kuroo’s ears by they hadn’t processed all the way through to his mind yet, and not even with Tsukishima’s soft lips crushing against his own did he fully understand what was going on. What a prime example to demonstrate what _breathtaking_ really meant, Kuroo literally couldn’t breathe even if he was aware he lost his breath. Tsukishima's hands clamped the sides of Kuroo’s face, holding him firmly into his kiss and the angel wasted no more time to let his own lips fall into the motions that shaped with the others. It felt like they were no longer surrounded by various drunk strangers, the music in the background growing distant and eventually silent, the warm tingling building in his chest ready to bloom in a field of orchids… Before it was all overcome by the bitter ice and darkness that dragged him into the untouched depths of his mind. Kuroo was drowning, yet he couldn’t even pull away, he was a deer stuck in headlights, the scalding pain consuming his entire being to an unbearable level. He was trapped in an inescapable black void that ate away at him rapidly and yet he could do _nothing_ to save himself.

 

Kuroo's vision gradually focused back into the florescent lights, a hazy figure before him looking beyond terrified, his voice was drowned out by the ringing in his ears and the sound of his heartbeat on the verge of giving up on him. It hurt to take in greedy breaths, yet he felt like he would suffocate if he didn’t do so.

 

“Kuroo… Kuroo, oh fuck, shit! I’m sorry - Oh fuck…” Tsukishima couldn’t hear his own slurring through the sheer panic of what he had just done, watching the ominous, darkened branching vein like pattern slowly fade and retract back into the edges of Kuroo’s sallow face and down his neck. He was almost convinced he had killed the guy due to his lack of movement, and Tsukishima desperately fought his arms from reaching out to him knowing it would only do more harm. “Kuroo! You’re okay right? Fu-fuck, dammit what did I do?!”

 

“Wow, Tsukki.” Kuroo finally managed, letting out a lengthy exhale. “Didn’t think you had that in you, guessing the drinks were a good idea huh?”

 

“I just… _Really_ hurt you. Oh shit, I didn’t mean to -”

 

“Shhhh, shut up. I liked it. A lot actually.” He stepped closer to Tsukishima, who retreated back in a wobbly stumble.

 

“Don’t. I fucked up, I don’t know what I was thinking, I‘m sorry…”

 

Kuroo wanted that feeling again, he _craved_ that feeling of freedom and love for that split second even if it meant succumbing to the agony. He took a long stride towards the quivering blond and pulled his head in close to his, closing the space between their lips again. He pulled away quicker this time to avoid nearly passing out again, but he didn’t regret the second kiss one bit. “Shut up, Tsukki.”

 

“Are you a fucking masochist?!”

 

“Ha, maybe your lips are just worth the torture.”

 

“Stupid! Don’t do that again, I swear -”

 

“What’ll you do? You love kissing me too, don’t deny it. Plus I can handle it.”

 

“Kuroo… It won’t work! We can’t touch, we can’t -”

 

“We _can_ though.” Kuroo’s formerly confident voice fell to something desperate and pleading. He knew this was crazy, but longed for that loving touch for too many years to count. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking for him right now, but he didn’t care. “Please, Tsukki.” This was a terrible idea, angels and humans simply do not work together. Kuroo knew that more than anybody. But even an angel struggles to resist temptations.

 

“I… Don’t want to hurt you.” Tsukishima attempted to convince himself this only happened because he was stupidly drunk, but he knew the alcohol only enhanced the feelings he tried so hard to bury.

 

Kuroo pulled a sleeve down over his hand before clinging onto Tsukishima’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

**.**

 

Tsukishima’s vision hadn’t improved one bit between the time they were in that club and now making out aggressively against his dorm apartment wall, various objects being knocked over from their sloppy actions. This felt wrong, yet so perfect. He knew he was hurting the hell out of Kuroo, but the serene and pure euphoria consuming his mind made him more drunk than the alcohol did. It blinded his judgement and his sense of sympathy for the angel. Even deep down, his very humanely instincts whispered that he didn’t care about Kuroo, that this feeling was too good to give up for anything or anyone else. _No, no I care about Kuroo…_

 

_But then why… am I still kissing him?_

 

“S-stop, Kuroo.” Tsukishima panted, prying his face away from Kuroo’s with great struggle. The angel’s grip around his torso didn’t loosen up, nor did his sharp gaze glued to the blond’s face. He looked lost in his own world, eyes glassed over with a blinding film. It didn’t look like Kuroo, as strange as Tsukishima thought that sounded. It was Kuroo, right in front of him. Kissing him. Yet, this new demeanor to him felt _wrong._ And the biggest question why was he not writhing in total agony? The branching darkness that trailed from the sides of Kuroo’s face and neck was prominent as ever, even his hands now being corrupted in the inky veins. Everything about this suddenly made Tsukishima uneasy and afraid, feeling his darkness creep back into the cracks during his short period of time away from the source of his happiness. However, it was all washed away when Kuroo pushed his face into his again, the two getting lost in the heated moment.

 

They had somehow made it to the floor, Tsukishima’s back still pressed against the wall while Kuroo pinned him in place. Tsukishima found his clouded mind yet again let him to believe that this was fine, and there was no consequences. It let him to clutch onto Kuroo’s hair foolishly and brush his skin against the delicate angel’s own, tainting it with his own sharp ice shards. He had never felt something so immense and elevating, never felt practically like a _god._ Yet, not even this was worth the suffering of another. Tsukishima fought through his selfish desires and pushed desperately against Kuroo’s chest.

 

“Enough.” He spoke in the tiny space left between their lips, feeling Kuroo’s intense gaze bore into his own.

 

“Why? Don’t you feel good?”

 

“I feel… Amazing. But stop. I can’t hurt you -”

 

“It doesn’t hurt.” Kuroo reassured, raising a trembling hand and placed it on Tsukishima’s warm cheek, the clamminess to his hand leaving a cool aftermath. “See, there’s nothing.”

 

“But… you’re just holding a straight face or something, you’re still taking pain.”

 

“I already took it all, dummy.” He laughed hollowly.

 

Tsukishima had never actually thought about it, but Kuroo had a point. He felt not even a single ounce of negativity other than his persistent worry over Kuroo while they remained in contact. But as a price to pay, Kuroo looked awful. His now pale face was sheened with a layer of sweat, the veiny pattern not making a budge this time and remained contrasted against his complexion, his eyebags the worst they’ve ever been and his usually gleaming eyes vacant. “We can’t do that again… you look like you’re going to die.”

 

Kuroo snorted and let himself fall next to Tsukishima against the wall, dropping his head on his bony shoulder and let his eyelids slide shut. “Mmm, you say that now. I’m just gonna stay like this for a while… if you don’t mind.” His voice grew quieter and more distant the further into the sentence he got.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Tsukishima asked worriedly, feeling Kuroo’s breaths turn softer and his lack of response indicating he already passed out. Tsukishima never felt such soul wrenching concern for someone else, never felt the need let himself be bothered by another person to this extent. Perks did come with caring about someone, but so did cons inevitably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What consequences will lie ahead of them for rushing into something like that I wonder... _*evil cackle*_  
>  Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I basically ship Kuroo with everyone oops. Thanks for reading!


End file.
